If only i was granted A wish now.. i would want to be a snowman.. then i can just melt or evaporate and just disappear.. disappear so that i can not take part in tournament, not deal with all my problems.. i know that running from reality is not appropriate but i want to!! i cant handle it anymore.. the pressure, the stress to do well in wadeva i undertake... i cant stand it anymore!! tournament's on wednesday.. playing against dunman high.. why are the rest so relaxed and yet here i am shiverring in fear, unable to stay calm.. i just hate myself.. why cant i perform like everybody elses' does.. tessa, minzhen.. they alll play so well and i SUCK!!! ahhhh!!! im just gonna let of all them down AGAIN... came so far..why cant i just finish it off?? i just hate my life... i wanna disappear in juat a POOF!!! but that would never ever ever happen right? all i wanna do now is get everthing done with.. destress and everything.. hopefully play well in the tournament.. ill give my best...

To badminton girls:
ill try my best for tournament.. im sorry if i let u guys down.. ill try my best to beat the dunman girls!!! thank you for all the support and motivation u guys have given me!! without u guys, ill just be a nobody!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

To hannah:
Thank you for all the times u have comforted, motivated, consoled me.. and everything u have ever done for me.. u dunno how grateful i am.. i dun think ill make it this far in studies as well as badminton without knowing that u are always there supporting me.. thank you for helping me even though u had your own problems.. thank you so much!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!

shall end here.. too depressing and negative already.. talking to hannah now... hafta tell myself that i can do it and i can trash DH!!!